My Living Situation

As I said before when I arrived into Suji it was snowing and wet and my driver spoke less English than I do Korean so when we pulled up onto this street and unloaded my bags my first thought was, "Oh boy.."

I was in the 21 Hotel.

Then I looked directly to my left and saw this pseudo-stripclub/motel including that pink neon sign in the shape of a woman and thought "Ohhh man.."

Buawh, buawh, BUAWH!  I've been really tttrrRRYYYIInngg bay-Beh! Buawh, buawh, BU-BRAWH..

Then I saw my room and thought, "Ohh gross!"  At this point I thought this was where I was going to living for my entire stay with the Hogwan.  I mean besides looking like Liberace's underwear the place was very humid and cramped.  Also, please note the clear plastic zip-pouch next to the yellow folder- that's where the lotion, razor, toothbrush, and condom was. And note the box of kleenex, this will come into perspective in a second.   This, major jetlag, not understanding anything being said to me, and the slight sleaziness of it all made me terribly anxious that I had made a very bad decision.  

Remember the kleenex box?  There's another one.  How much kleenex does ones room need!?  Right about when this photo was taken did the walls start throbbing with animal noises.  Then I turned that T.V. on to unwind and it was pre-set to channel 2- the softcore porn channel.  Nothing is worse than asian softcore porn.  I mean porn is not something to really ENJOY necessarily but asian porn is like watching really young looking girls being taken advantage of since they have an incredibly creepy young-girls fetish here.  Is this paragraph making you uncomfortable yet?  Then imagine how I felt at this point.  It was here that exhaustion took over and after a long shower I was never happier to find an episode of Law and Order (in English with Korean subtitles) in my entire life.  (It was the one I always seem to find when I turn on L&O though, the Neo-nazi one where they kill the schoolchildren on the playground. At this point however I could have watched Nash Bridges dubbed into Turkish and felt less sleazy.) 

So the night came and went with fitful sleep and after going to the school the next morning I found at that I wasn't going to be stuck in the Park'n'Pork for much longer- just another week.  I was waiting for the term to end and the teacher in my apartment to leave so that I could move in.  So after seven days of Channel 2 and hooded carports I left the now surprisingly comfy surroundings of my Joytel Motel for my new apartment...

HaaaaalleluuuuJAH!

HalleluJAH!  HalleluJAH!!

HallllleeeehhhaaaaalooouuuhhhJAAAAHHH!!!

Now THIS is what I'm talking about.  It's sunny and bright, clean, and loaded with fast internet and cable TV with no Channel 2 (I checked).  I mean there's a decorative samurai sword next to my bed!  How much better can it get than that?  Plus that great oak table.  This place is the bee's-knee's and I'm not paying any rent.  It's all included in my contract with the school.  Korea will hook you up.  This is better than any of my places in L.A. or Boston and without the psycho roommates.  Plus it has a fairly nice kitchen:

Granted the sink drain stinks but it'll work.  And next to the sink is the washing machine:

They don't have dryers for most of the general populations here, it's a major status symbol.  And that's fine with me, I don't mind using the drying rack that's leaning against the wall in front of the washer but the downside is that they didn't tell me that the drain-hose wasn't secured into the drainpipe so after I did my first load water went EVERYWHERE in the kitchen and now besides the already funky smelling kitchen sink the floor smells good and moldy.  I was able to clean up the puddles with rolls of toilet paper since, ironically enough, the load I was doing was TOWELS but until I figure out the Korean symbol for and location of Duct Tape to better secure that hose into the drainpipe, I'm gonna be avoiding using that washer and actively pursuing a good mop instead.

Now to the one downfall of my living situation- the bathroom.  It looks innocent enough, and it's all functional including hot water so that's a huge plus and one for which I'm grateful.  It is however not built for human beings over six feet tall.   I cannot fully stand inside of it and have to be in a crouch the whole time.  That wouldn't be such an issue if the shower wasn't the actual bathroom itself.  See that metal hose that's connected to the hand held shower nozzle that's in the sink?  THAT, my friends, is the shower.  Let me explain:

The entire floor of the bathroom slopes down into this little drain.  So when I need to shower I close the bathroom door, turn on the sink, wait till the water heats up, then twist the dial on the front of the spout to direct the water into that handheld shower nozzle and go to town.  At this point the entire bathroom becomes the shower getting water all over the walls, the ceiling, the toilet, and me.  When it's over everything in the room is wet and once I towel off I leave that tiny window open to direct the moisture outside and leave the room to dry.  Including the toilet.  That last part I don't mind but having to perform this entire operation while HUNCHED OVER is painful and causing me to get sharp pins in my lower back if I stay like that for too long.  So I have learned to take military showers where I turn the water on, then off, lather up, wash off, and get out all within a minute and a half.  Being 6'2'' in this country is interesting and a colossal pain in the ass at the same time.  The same goes for the kitchen, I can't stand up in there either, but the main room is just fine.  

So besides the interesting bathroom, all in all I have it really well for my living situation now.  And not without it's share of anxiety along the way.  But for every morning I'm hunched over like the bell-ringer of Notre Dame I count my blessings that this place does not carry Channel 2.  And for the price of rent I think I can learn to deal with it just fine.